Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My dick has a subreddit
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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