I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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