My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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