Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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