you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize