I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All the doctor said was why
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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