So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you had me at cake vodka
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize