you mean i was at the winter classic?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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