We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize