what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there's paper in my vomit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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