lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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