I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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