Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize