I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize