Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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