somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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