he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize