i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
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We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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