we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I am one with the molecules
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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