i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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