I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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