I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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