I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize