Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize