she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize