woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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