why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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