Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize