Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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