I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize