she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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