When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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