He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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