I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
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It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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