break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
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