Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
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No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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