Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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