the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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