when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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