Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize