help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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