I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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