Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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