To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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