I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
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You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm too high and old for this...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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