I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
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I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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