Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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