This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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