so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize