Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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